Hotline Miami Confirmed for PSN Next Week!

Pixels, because it would be rated AO otherwise

Pixels, because it would be rated AO otherwise

One of the best PC indie releases is getting the red carpet treatment on PSN next week. Cross buy enabled (buy it once for PS3 and Vita), get ready for some great action, puzzle-like design, music engineered to play with your senses, and a beautifully surrealist story all in one drug induced bloody great package.

Hopefully this means the Vita edition of Lone Survivor isn’t far off!!

Holy Stars, Microsoft Studios Brings 15 Games to Windows 8

Ready to “PLAY” on your new Windows 8 computer? Well, if you’re like most of us, you’re probably just going to stick to Steam, but if you really like your Xbox style achievements, this is probably going to be worth a gander.

Actually, it really does seem like the real incentive to play with Windows 8 would be to stay within the Microsoft ecosystem.

That aside, check out the trailer above to enjoy a brief teaser video. The real gem of that collection is Zen Pinball 2! You can play it lots of places, but it’s still a great pinball game! For more information, I suppose you could go to

Oh, Now I Remember


As I sat in front of my computer trying desperately to come up with something to write about this week I found myself without any ideas. There was no real news I was excited about. There aren’t any games coming out in the near future that I’m all that excited about. The WiiU is right around the corner, but seeing how I abhor EVERYTHING Nintendo…that was out too.


Then I tried to think of why I even like video games, and one memory came to mind. It was the day that, after more than a dozen years of playing games, I feel I actually became a “gamer”. But let me start with a bit of background info…


I’m a huge fan of the show Chuck. One day I was searching some YouTube videos and I came across a video featuring Adam Baldwin (John Casey) and Yvonne Strahovski (Sarah Walker) doing voice overs for a game titled Mass Effect 2. I instantly looked on Steam and found a demo. After playing through the demo about a half-dozen times I bought the game. It almost instantly started gettin every spare moment I had, but really never more than 1-2 hours at a time, that is, until a snow-day kept me out of class one day.


I was going to school fulltime, so after driving my wife to work I came home and sat down in front of my computer, cup of coffee beside me, and started in on my usual 1-2 hours. Before I knew it I looked at the clock and I had been playing for 4 hours. I refilled the coffee and sat back down. I clocked a total of about 8 1/2 hours that day…way more than I had ever spent in one day playing video games. I experimented with new weapons and new powers. Got in a grove with certain squad mates (usually Miranda and Thane or Miranda and Garrus). Went further and further than I’d ever gone. Developed an affinity for sniping, which I had previously hated in games, and developed my most defining quality as a gamer…sitting there all by myself saving the universe.



Now this is a relatively boring story, I’ll admit it, but for me it was the day that I picked up the gamer tag and haven’t put it down since. No, I didn’t grow up loving a lot of the older games, nor do I own dozens of different games…but I’m a gamer none the less. Gamers come in all shapes and bends.


So what’s your story? When did you pick up that gamer tag? Let us know in the comments.

Is Half Life 3 Just Around the Corner?

Big news dropped last week from one of the industries fan-favorite developers, and it came in the form of a recent job listing. Valve Corporation is looking for an industrial designer with a background in “product design and manufacturing, ergonomics, usability, aesthetics, and surfacing,” according to a report released from Gameindustry International. In the past rumors have frequently surfaced about the company moving into the hardware market, including a rumor about working with Apple to develop a console, but this job posting seems to be a little too specific to have nothing to do with that end.

Most would assume that a console from Valve would utilize its popular Steam format, but that’s not the rumor that sparked the most amount of interest when I learned of this job listing. Just a few short hours after the news released I started hearing rumors that this may be what Valve has been waiting for in regards to releasing the long (very, very long) awaited Half Life 3. The Half Life series really helped to cement Valve as one of the majors hitters in the gaming market and fans have been clamoring for more Gordon Freeman for nearly a decade since the franchises second game dropped in November of 2004. To add a little more fuel to this rumor, official Half Life 3 shirts have been reported popping up in several game and comic conventions this year.

So what do you think? Would you want a Valve console, or are you happy with Steam for PC and Mac? Is this rumored console the vehicle for the next Half Life game? Let us know what you think in the comments below.

Is Guild Wars 2 Good?

I mentioned it last week on my last article and thought I’d give it a week before I really got into what the game is like, you know, let it marinate in my mind and in the minds of others before delving into the nitty gritty.

So: is it good?

It’s different. It has its goods, it has its bads, and coming into the game as a casual player of GW1 without even touching the beta or looking at gameplay videos I felt like I was playing a completely different game and this is true. The game is COMPLETELY different compared to the old one. It is a lot faster paced in regards to traditional questing and leveling but the time it takes to level seems about right for a casual gamer.

What I mean by fast-paced questing is that there is no “!” or “?”. Just “<3”. And if you’ve played it, the joke should make sense.

Basically you don’t pick up quests, you run into “events” that just so happen to spawn while you’re wandering the world. Anyone can step into an event and start one or join one that’s already happening. It enhances the experience, making a world feel more “alive” in that these people aren’t going to wait for you, the hero, to start a quest before shit goes down, no, if an army of ghosts attack a camp, you better be there or else the mission is failed. And when this happens, you have something like 5-20 other players doing this quest so it turns into this whole giant group quest where the reward is experience and karma. Pretty cool if you ask me but at the same time, you may miss a lot of mini-stories just jumping into events like this.

The map is very nicely detailed. You can zoom in and out and see all the important markers as well as the not-so-important ones. This was one of my peeves about the game. It was really nice to see all this detail and stuff on the screen but at the same time, there’s just so much stuff you miss what you’re looking for. That is, until you notice that tiny eyeball on the lower left of the screen which you eventually find out is the filter. The map is really user friendly though and isn’t limited so much on the area you’re loaded into. Navigating from one way point to another is as simple as clicking and paying the toll, no need to run to a way point first to be able to use it.

The skill system is also a little strange. Each set for the skills is limited to the weapon you and to be able to use that skill you’d have to first level up the weapon and learn it. This can get annoying when you got that really nice weapon upgrade but you can’t use it right away because you’d get rid of four of your five weapon abilities. At the same time, though, it forces you to change up your fighting style, try new things, etc. I mean, a mesmer, (the illusionist class) was basically a ranged support mage in GW1, now you have them in the front lines with detonating clones. Also, the healer class is completely gone. Every class has their own healing spell that works differently depending on their class.

The environments are beautiful. A lot of work was put into it and I guess this is the only real part of GuildWars 1 that carried over to the new game. Its nice to be able to see some mountain in the distance and actually run over to climb it (and actually jump… yes you can jump and fall of ledges in this game).

And what’s really really nice is that you have a lot of different starting areas. Five different races + different factions within each race = a lot of different story lines. The Charr alone have three with different heroes as mentors depending on who you pick.

All in all: The game sucks because you can’t draw penises on the party map anymore.


The Tryhard and You

In the competitive gaming world there exists a spectrum where all players fall in between: the noob and the tryhard. Like all extremes, there’s a lot more grief to be had than actual enjoyment. We all know what a noob is. They can’t play worth shit, they work under the rationale that this is all a learning experience, their play style is slow, and they always seem to be on your team. You’ve seen videos, flame wars, etc. calling out these players so its nothing new. But what about the other end of the spectrum? Meet the tryhard:


There’s a lot of different ways to explain exactly what a tryhard is. Urban Dictionary does quite a good job in explaining the kind I’m thinking of:

“7. Tryhard

In regards to recreational activities or video games, someone who must put forth 100% effort to come out victorious. As opposed to someone who doesn’t need to do their best to win a game or contest.”
So where do the professional gamers stand? Pretty high up there in the spectrum. But they make money out of what they do so it’s excusable. I want to focus on the average, everyday gamer: that one guy in your team that just won’t shut the fuck up and complains about every single fault you make no matter how well you actually do. They’re the guys who like to latch onto one guy and chew them out, calling them noob, telling them to uninstall, making sarcastic remarks, and basically making the game just unbearably annoying even if your team is winning.
So what do you do when you have a tryhard in your team? The most obvious answer is just to not suck and maybe they’ll leave you alone. But what if it’s you they’re targeting? Unlike noobs, these assholes are really easy to troll because of their volatile personalities, especially when the rest of your team just about had enough of him. Just do exactly what they don’t want you to do… like a majority vote to /surrender a winning game. I guarantee you it’ll be one of the most satisfying loss you’ll experience ever. Spite is a wonderful thing.
And that’s it. Tryhards suck. And remember, kids, if you feel like raging at your own team:

Mass Effect 3 Extended Cut Bust



Let’s face it, if you’re visiting GV you’re probably familiar with the controversy behind one of the biggest games of the year, Mass Effect 3, which saves me from having to give a lot of back story. Let’s just say when the game ended people weren’t happy, names were called and lawsuits were filed. So in an attempt to keep the masses happy ME3 developers BioWare decided they would release an extended cut DLC that will help clear things up and offer some closure for the gamer, many of which have spent years with their Commander Shepard.

Before I go any further I want to say that I’m going to try to be super light on the spoilers. I mean, I’m not a dick or anything.
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Free-to-Play: Suddenly I’m Broke


Wanna play League of Legends? It’s absolutely free. You don’t gotta pay shit. Absolutely nothing. You can get the same gaming experience as anyone who pays money for this game. So why bother paying for it? It’s stupid right? All it takes is a bit of patience and a bunch of games to be able to unlock what paying customers can unlock right away with the right amount of money. But you won’t break. All these guys got their special skins and you’re still running the classics. It’s fine. Skin doesn’t equal skill.
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Top Ten Shittiest Characters

These are characters I feel are stupidly useless or annoying, which may be worse. Most games have something redeeming but we´ve all played games that featured buzz kill personalities that ruin the experience. Here are my top ten shittiest characters.
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What to Play When You’re Bored…..Try This!

So now that I’m on my break from college [fuck yes!] I now have time to check out a few games and download some new jazz. Recently I stumbled upon 4 games I’ve been really wanting to check out. And I think you guys might like them [if you haven’t already played them]. Here they are!
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Pitfalls of Shooting Games and Why They Suck

(screens from BF2:BC2, MW3, FarCry)

When it comes to video games, one of the more popular genres (or at least the ones that show up in media most of the time) are shooters. Modern Warfare, Battlefield, Halo, Resistance, Killzone, TF2, Grand Theft Auto, Dead Space, Mass Effect–basically, if there’s a problem in the world: shoot it. That’s all good and fun and it’s a proven market strategy but with all these shooting games hitting the shelves by the masses we start to see a repetition of similar aspects in each game both good and bad. What sucks about it is we begin to ignore these bad mechanics and accept them as a standard… Like it’s excusable because everyone is doing it.
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Baking with Gamers


Okay… so good idea or bad idea: I give you Summoners Rift. Extra Large. Thin Crust. Only League of Legends players would get this, I know. But look at it, isn’t it cool? You can see the purple team’s base… the blue team’s base and the jungle spawns and huge chilies where baron and dragon spawn. It’s the perfect dish for gamers because we’re fat and lazy and no one will eat this except the five of us in the LAN party we had on a Friday night while the girl we’re crushing on is getting laid on the dance floor at some club.

Why won’t anyone else eat this? One: only losers will understand our tastes (/pun). Two: look at the detail on this thing. Can you imagine the work it took to put this thing together? The… hands that individually placed each kernel of corn? The grime encrusted fingers that ever so lovingly fondled the melted cheese? Delicious. I’d eat it if it had anchovies.