Is Cortana An Annoying Whore?

Cortana…what to say about her. I believe that she just got more annoying after each game, don’t you think? In the first Halo, she was actually cool and helpful. But as the games went on, she got ridiculously annoying on the latter Halo games!!! She interrupts for no reason as you moved on to the next part of the game.

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Why the Wii U Gamepad will be a failure. At Least for Nintendo.


Nintendo recently announced their next console, the Wii U, which will include the Wii U Gamepad, (I will refer to it as the WUG for the duration of this article). A controller/tablet hybrid that can be utilized as a secondary screen in game, (for quick access to maps, inventory etc.) or as a “portable” screen if the TV is in use. At first glance this seems like it could revolutionize gaming and “the way we play”. I think it will. I just think Nintendo will get no credit. Continue reading

Charting Lara Croft’s levels of Slutiness – a Timeline

 

Call it Nintendo fanboyism, but I really like it when my video game characters stay the same. Take Mario for example. For the better part of 20-something years, that little dude has consistently stayed a short, pudgy, Italian plumber, and I love him for that. You’re never going to see him suddenly become ripped, double his height, grow a beard, and trade in his fireflower for an AK-47. Not gonna happen. Now. I completely understand the need to change as a result of evolving to become a better self. After all, adaptation is a tool for survival.  What I really don’t like seeing is change for the sake of change… which brings us to Lara.

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Top Ten Shittiest Characters


These are characters I feel are stupidly useless or annoying, which may be worse. Most games have something redeeming but we´ve all played games that featured buzz kill personalities that ruin the experience. Here are my top ten shittiest characters.
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What to Play When You’re Bored…..Try This!

Blades-of-time
So now that I’m on my break from college [fuck yes!] I now have time to check out a few games and download some new jazz. Recently I stumbled upon 4 games I’ve been really wanting to check out. And I think you guys might like them [if you haven't already played them]. Here they are!
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The divineness that is GoldenEye 007

I had a random conversation with my brother about the greatness of GoldenEye 007 for Nintendo 64. We reminisced over the countless hours spent playing. I remembered the constant yelling from our mother to turn down the volume or to go outside because it’s a beautiful day. No matter how great the weather, there was no turning off that game. There was, and still is, always more to be done.
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Ron Jeremy: Cocksmith Cumming To A Console Soon!

Ron Jeremy has been in the “adult film” industry for decades upon decades, and has even been featured in previous console video games, but that doesn’t mean the old fart is done! This fall, Xbox Kinect is set to release the launch title for their “Xbox Adult Gaming Experience” in Ron Jeremy: Cocksmith.
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Pitfalls of Shooting Games and Why They Suck

(screens from BF2:BC2, MW3, FarCry)

When it comes to video games, one of the more popular genres (or at least the ones that show up in media most of the time) are shooters. Modern Warfare, Battlefield, Halo, Resistance, Killzone, TF2, Grand Theft Auto, Dead Space, Mass Effect–basically, if there’s a problem in the world: shoot it. That’s all good and fun and it’s a proven market strategy but with all these shooting games hitting the shelves by the masses we start to see a repetition of similar aspects in each game both good and bad. What sucks about it is we begin to ignore these bad mechanics and accept them as a standard… Like it’s excusable because everyone is doing it.
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South Koreans Can Kiss Their PlayStation Store Goodbye

Isn’t buying games and other stuff online such a great idea? Korea doesn’t think so. Sony Computer Entertainment announced this week that they will directly cut off the network to PlayStation Store in South Korea, suspending all purchases and downloads made there from the 29th of June. This is due to the country’s new “Promotion Act. Which clearly wouldn’t sit very well to gamers in South Korea. The law will be in effect as of July 1st. Continue reading

Top Ten Games I Never Want to See in 3D.

I know that the 3D video game industry has recently started to grow and more and more developers are making 3D games. So I decided to make them a black book on what games should be completely off limits to the new genre. Hopefully they listen but they never do. Starting with number ten after the jump.  Continue reading

There was a Donkey Kong cereal?!

I had a friend mention to me recently that there was a Donkey Kong cereal back in the 80′s. I absolutely believed that he was giving me a hard time, so I researched this and it’s actually true. There was a Donkey Kong Crunch that came out in 1982 but sadly lasted only a year. But there’s more. If you can make out the caption on the left hand corner of this photo, you will see that there were prizes you could win from buying this cereal such as a Donkey Kong arcade game!

How cool would that be to have your very own Donkey Kong arcade game and play it whenever you want! But the only drawback would be that quarters to play it, do not come with it. I wonder what kid won this great prize, back in the 80′s.

(Thanks retro)