Female Armor Sucks: No it ROCKS!

Ever wonder why every time you play an MMORPG game the females are wearing nothing? I bet you know the answer! Because we all just want to see some boobies, and by “we” I mean gaming males and lesbians(shout out!). Anyway I mean did College Humor even need to do a video on this, it’s fucking clear why she is half naked. Female Armor Rocks!

Xbox Live: Summer of Arcade Game List

Xbox Lives’ summer game lineup looks to be a solid one, atleast after August 3rd that is. Who cares about the other games, when Fruit Ninja is coming out. All I’ve ever wanted to do was to slash virtual fruit on my 60″ LCD! But really I’m most excited for Toy Soldiers: Cold War, because TS is way sick, especially dive bombing the fighter planes into your opponents base.

July 20: Bastion (1,200 MSP)
July 27: From Dust (1,200 MSP)
August 3: Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet (1,200 MSP)
August 10: Fruit Ninja Kinect (800 MSP)
August 17: Toy Soldiers: Cold War (1,200 MSP)

As an added bonus, those who purchase all five games will receive a free copy of Crimson Alliance, an action RPG from Certain Affinity that’s set to launch on September 7 for 1,200 MSP.

Daily Pic: Super Pee Bro’s: The New Wii Game!

Thanks Think Geek for this delightful game picture. Super Pee Bro’s is the hottest Wii game! Let’s face it most women have penis envy and this game gives them the best opportunity to live our your penis dreams. I love having a penis and women will to with the new Super Pee Bro’s.

Yes, this is a fucking joke. Cool idea though. No?

appBlaster iPhone gun: Kill AR Aliens!

Nintendo Wii accessories are old news compared to this rifle-like dock for the iPhone. The appBlaster is an accessory from apptoyz designed specifically for use with their iOS game: Alien Attack. Put your iDevice in the gun and load up the augmented reality shooter game and you’ll be blowing up alien slime in no time. The appBlaster will run you about $32 and comes out July 7th.

PS3: L.A. Noire Cheats

L.A. is amazing, the DLC content that keeps getting released is also a great addition to the already incredibly expansive game. But sometimes games do get repetitive and as we all probably know, nothing is better to changing up a game with some high quality cheats. Since Xbox 360 decided to be lame and not include all these awesome cheats, the actual cheats in this list only applies to PS3, the rest is the same on both consoles:

Code:                             Effect:

Power of the Gods           Gives you a Buggati Veyron.
You Fancey Men             Makes you attracted to the same sex (obviously gay).
I Heart Power                  This gives you a super strong punch.
I Heart Policing                This will grant you all of the evidence at a crime scene.
I Heart Speed                  This will make you go twice as fast (in vehicles).

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Vehicle List:

 1. American LaFrance Fire Truck
 2. Buick Ambulance
 3. Buick Convertible
 4. Buick Eight Coupe
 5. Buick Super
 6. Cadillac Series 62
 7. Cadillac Series 62 Convertible
 8. Cadillac Series 75 Town Car
 9. Cadillac V-16
10. Chevrolet 3100
11. Chevrolet 3100 Tow Truck
12. Chevrolet Combination Car
13. Chevrolet Fleetmaster Convertible
14. Chevrolet KC
15. Chevrolet Master
16. Chevrolet Roadster
17. Chevrolet Styleline
18. Chrysler Airflow
19. Chrysler DeSoto
20. Chrysler DeSoto Taxi
21. Chrysler New Yorker
22. Chrysler Woody
23. Cisillia Coupe
24. Cisitalia 202 Coupe
25. Cord 810
26. Davis Deluxe
27. Delage D8-120 S
28. Duesenberg J Walker Coupe
29. Ford Coupe
30. Ford DeLuxe
31. Ford DeLuxe Convertible
32. Ford Police Special
33. Ford Super DeLuxe Convertible
34. Frazer Manhattan
35. Hot Rod
36. Hudson Commodore
37. Hudson Super Six
38. International D-Series
39. International D-Series Paddywagon
40. International KB7
41. Kaiser DeLuxe
42. Lincoln Continental
43. Lincoln Continental Convertible
44. Lincoln Zephyr
45. Mercury 8
46. Nash 600
47. Nash Ambassador
48. Oldsmobile 90
49. Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser 98
50. Packard Clipper
51. Plymouth P5
52. Plymouth Special Deluxe Six
53. Pontiac DeLuxe
54. Stout Scarab
55. Studebaker Champion
56. Studebaker Champion Police Special
57. Talbot-Lago T26
58. Tucker Torpedo
59. White Model 798 Bus

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Unlockable:                                           How:

A Cop on Every Corner (Bronze): Complete a single street crime case.
Asphalt Jungle (Bronze): Chase down and tackle a fleeing suspect on foot as an LAPD Detective.
Auto Collector (Bronze): Drive 40 different vehicles.
Auto Enthusiast (Bronze): Drive 5 different vehicles.
Auto Fanatic (Silver): Drive every vehicle in the city.
Dead Men Are Heavier (Bronze): Shoot and kill a total of 100 bad guys.
Golden Boy (Bronze): Clear a case finding every clue as an LAPD Detective or Investigator.
Hollywoodland (Silver): Find and inspect all gold film canisters.
Johnny On The Spot (Silver): Respond to 20 street crimes cases.
Keep A Lid On (Bronze): Complete a brawl without losing your hat as an LAPD Detective or Investigator.
Lead Foot (Bronze): Keep the needle above 80mph for more than ten seconds while driving.
Magpie (Gold): Find and inspect 95% of all clues.
Miles On The Clock (Bronze): Drive more than 194.7 miles.
Not So Hasty (Bronze): Stop a fleeing Suspect with a warning shot as an LAPD Detective.
One For The File (Bronze): Find and inspect a clue as an LAPD Detective or Investigator.
Platinum Trophy (Platinum): Collect all other Trophies to unlock.
Public Menace (Silver): Rack up $47,000 in penalties during a single story case.
Roscoe And Friends (Bronze): Kill at least one bad guy with every gun.
Shamus To The Stars (Gold): Complete all story cases with a five star rating
Star Map (Bronze): Discover all landmark buildings around the city.
The Brass (Silver): Achieve maximum rank
The Hunch (Silver): Use four intuition points in conversation with a single suspect, correctly branching each question.
The Long Arm of the Law (Silver): Complete all street crime cases.
The Moose (Bronze): Tail Candy Edwards from the parking lot to her destination without using cover or going incognito, except when staring or picking up the tail.
The Naked City of the Angels (Gold): Reach 100% Game Complete.
The Plot Thickens (Bronze): Find and solve an inspection puzzle.
The Shadow (Bronze): Tail a suspect without being spotted, in a single case.
The Straight Dope (Bronze): Use evidence to prove a lie as an LAPD Detective or Investigator.
The Third Degree (Silver): Correctly branch every question in every interview in a single story case.
The Up and Up (Silver): Complete a story case with a five star rating.
Traffic Stop (Bronze): Disable a Suspect vehicle with help from your partner.
Wooden Overcoats (Silver): Bring down a total of 30 bad guys with head shots.

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Unlockable Outfits:

1. The Outsider
How to Unlock: Reach Rank 13

2. Sword of Justice
How to Unlock: Reach Rank 3

3. Golden Boy
How to Unlock: When you start the Traffic Desk cases.

4. Hawkshaw
How to Unlock: Reach Rank 18
Effect: Take an extra dose of damage and stay standing

5. Sunset Strip
How to Unlock: Reach Rank 8

6. Chicago Lightning
How to Unlock: Sign up to the Social Club
Effect: Shoot “straight” with the Thompson and the Shotgun

7. The Broderick
How to Unlock: via DLC
Effect: Hit harder and take more punches before going down.

8. The Sharpshooter
How to Unlock: via DLC
Effect: Shoot “straight” with the Garand and the Colt .45

9. Button Man
How to Unlock: Collect all DLC Hidden shields.
Effect: Carry extra ammo for all weapons, just in case.

World of Warcraft: Blizzard considering iOS

Blizzard announced that they are ‘looking at’ making World of Warcraft playable on iOS devices. Obviously the image above is a little misguiding because other than the iPad, I honestly don’t know if the iPhone 4 or any other iOS device could support WoW graphically.

World of Warcraft as part of Blizzard, already has a huge variety of online services and apps that keep them close to their daily players, even when they aren’t on their computers. So since they already run the internet (estimated; some 9 million daily U.S. players), why not just take over everyone’s mobile apple devices.

Greg Street, the WoW forum moderator told Eurogamer, “Everyone I know here has an iPhone or an iPad so we’re huge fans of the hardware. If we could make the right game changes to make that work, it’s something we’d be interested in. It’s not something you’re going to see in the next week or two, but it’s the kind of thing we’re always looking at.” Demos of the game have already been run demonstrating that the iPad has the power to run World of Warcraft, and Street said making an iOS version of the game is all about finding a way to transition the mouse and keyboard controls to touchscreen.

I don’t play WoW and never will because other than this site, I have, um what’s it called? Oh that’s right, a life. But I’m sure all the World of Warcraft freaks out there would explode in their pants if they looked on the app store one day to see an update for a full WoW downloadable game. Parents, go get your children Android phones while you still can.

DC Comics X Converse Spring Collection

Yet another incredible team up Converse has done, by releasing this exclusive line of DC Comic inspired shoes. I don’t really care for DC that much but the color ways with the super heroes are so tasteful that I can’t help but wonder (woman?) how long it’s going to take before I see someone wearing these. I only wish these shoes game you the power of the superhero or villain that you are wearing on your feet.

Supreme Court Overturns Ban on Video Game Sales to Kids: We Won Bitches!

“Given me Liberty, or give me Death!” words from the famous Patrick Henry. Today, the Supreme Court chose to give the American people liberty.

Monday, June 27, 2011, the Supreme Court ruled that it is unconstitutional to prohibit minors from buying violent video games in the United States. The court ultimately decided that video games have the same legal security as movies, books, and music etc. Meaning that they are a form of free speech and can not be banned from reaching the hands of minors. The decision was 7-2 which upheld the status quo and throws out the ban that was placed on California’s youth.

The Video Game Voters Network(VGVN) has been following this case from the very begging and elicited the gaming community to sign petitions and establish protest against the court. Today, it was a huge victory for the VGVN. They had this to say,

“Today’s ruling is a big victory for game players, parents, and all who value free speech and creative expression…..

As an American citizen first, I wholeheartedly support the Supreme Court ruling to protect games as free speech, like any other form of creative expression.

I will defend these rights against attempts to subvert or manipulate the spirit of the ruling through legislative loopholes.

I will defend against any attempts to restrict the sale of computer and video games, which are nothing but aggressive attempts at censorship.

I will support continued efforts to fight for free speech of computer and video games, a right now recognized by the highest court in the land.”

One of the very reasons that video game sales could not be banned from the hands of minors was because there was a lack of evidence that it was harmful to minors. A study by Professor Scott Cunningham from Baylor University and Professor Michael R. Ward from University of Texas at Arlington recently suggested that violent video games do not increase youth to preform violent acts.

I say let the gaming industry keep it out of the hands of the youth, they have been doing a great job thus far. Since no other news source has pointed this out I will….

First off the industry created a ranking system called the ESRB which puts ranks on video game boxes. This informs the consumer of the age level that in intended for this type of gameplay(i.e. Rated M, for Mature). Second it is many companies polices such as Walmart’s, and Target’s, not to sell M rated video games to minors. Essentially you have the industry regulating itself without the need of government intervention.

Lastly, parents need to take care of their own damn children. When did it become the governments responsibility? If you don’t want your child playing violent video games then don’t let them buy/own/or play violent video games, plain and simple. Yes, the free market might not always work but in this instance it has very well. So lets keep it that way.

Crime rates are decreasing and the video game industry is increasingly growing. Lets blame someone else for our violent youth, I would target the parents first. I am sorry but someone had to say it.

After today’s ruling we can put all this behind us as focus on creating intelligent, creative, and outstanding video games to inspire children. Next goal for the industry is to finally show Roger Ebert that video games are art.

And yes bitches, WE WON!

Battle Royale: Goomba VS Koopa

The idea of the “Death Battles” is to figure out who would win in a fight. The question that is answered in this video below is who would win a Goomba or a Koopa in a battle. I go with Koopa because they have armor and they can go extremely fast when they are in the shell, like a fighter jet made of biceps! What you guys think? Check out the video below.